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7 Confidence Secrets You Need to Know for Success

Let me share a secret with you: I’m not perfect. Shocking, right? For those who know me, it might seem obvious.

My first professional role after graduating from college was as a YMCA director. I loved that role, but it did have its challenges. One day a board member and major donor called and asked a question. I provided the answer and immediately knew that he was not pleased (and unfortunately, I was wrong). He hung up and called the CEO. The CEO called me and asked what happened. I shared that if I had taken 30 seconds to think about it, I would have responded differently. So…he made me call the board member and work through the situation. It may not sound like a big deal, however at the time, it was related to a major concern and my mishandling of the issue shook my confidence as a new leader and made me want to shy away from board interactions, which would not have been a good move professionally.

If we're honest, everyone has faced situations where they felt they failed miserably. Can you think of a specific example? Fortunately, it’s not the failure itself that defines you but how you respond to it that truly reveals your integrity and resilience.

Winston Churchill famously said, “Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

The challenge is that maintaining enthusiasm can be tough, especially after a setback. Disappointments can dent our confidence, causing us to doubt ourselves and forget who we really are. Without confidence, it becomes impossible to try, which guarantees failure.

Luckily, confidence can be reclaimed, as every successful person knows. Here are seven secrets successful people use to regain their confidence.

1. They Remind Themselves They Can Do It

Successful people understand that failure is normal. The journey to success is often filled with bumps along the way. The key to regaining confidence is to remember that success is still possible—perhaps even probable. Remind yourself of your goals and visualize your success anew.

2. They Walk Away

Sometimes, taking a break is the best thing you can do. Confidence falters when you’re stressed and overwhelmed. Engaging in a hobby you love, taking a walk, or spending time with friends can help you regain a positive mindset when you’re feeling frustrated.

3. They Revisit the Past

Reflecting on past successes and failures provides valuable insights. What have you learned about yourself from these experiences? Understanding your past helps you gain insights into your present. Confidence comes from using this knowledge wisely.

4. They Forgive

Holding onto self-blame for past mistakes only destroys your confidence. Letting go and forgiving yourself is essential for future success.

5. They Keep a Handle on Their Self-Talk

Negative self-talk can be incredibly destructive. How do you speak to yourself? Are you patient and understanding, or do you tend towards negativity? Controlling these mental put-downs preserves self-confidence. Using positive statements will build it up.

6. They Start Over

Repeating the same actions expecting different results is a recipe for failure. Rather than forcing yourself into the same situation, rethink your strategy. Consider how you can approach things differently this time.

7. They Keep Trying

Persistence is key. If you stop after a failure, you’ll always see yourself as a failure. It’s the person who gets up and tries again who builds confidence over time.

Ultimately, reclaiming your confidence requires intentional effort. By applying these tips, you’ll find your way back. Understand that the process can be slow, but success remains within your reach, even after setbacks.

“We’re all about progress, not perfection.”

Selena Samuela


For more tips for addressing leadership challenges, check out previous blog posts or sign up for my newsletter at



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